The Modern Groomsmen Tie Etiquette: Who Pays, Who Chooses, and How to Save Money
When you start planning a wedding, it doesn’t take long to realise that the list of traditions, rules, and etiquette questions is endless. One of the classic head-scratchers we hear all the time from couples is: Who traditionally buys the ties for the groomsmen?
If you look up old-school etiquette guides, they will likely tell you that the groom is solely responsible for purchasing the wedding party accessories. But we live in the real world. Between the current cost of living and the rising price of weddings, modern couples are throwing out the old rulebook.
If you are trying to figure out how to handle your wedding party attire without causing financial stress or awkward conversations, here is the ultimate, real-world guide to modern groomsmen tie etiquette.
The Ultimate Golden Rule: There is No Golden Rule
If we could give you just one piece of advice, it’s this: there is no golden rule.
Nowadays, it is a real mixed bag. More often than not, the bride and groom will still purchase the ties and pocket squares to guarantee everything matches their vision. However, it is increasingly common for groomsmen to buy their own sets and have them shipped directly to their houses.
If circumstances dictate that you need to share the burden of the cost with your wedding party, don't sweat it. When you are dealing with true friends, all they want to do is participate in your big day.
The "What Goes Around" Mindset: Look at it as a mutual circle of support. If your groomsmen pay for their own ties and pocket squares for your wedding, you’ll likely do exactly the same for them when it's their turn. The conversation doesn't need to be awkward.
Scenario A: The Couple Buys (The "Two-Birds-One-Stone" Strategy)
If you do decide to foot the bill as a couple, usually it's because you want to make sure the colours perfectly match the bridesmaid dresses or the overall mood board. But paying for everyone's attire can get expensive fast—unless you play it smart.
Instead of buying the wedding attire and then spending money on separate groomsmen thank-you gifts (like engraved flasks or trinkets they might never use again), turn the attire into the gift.
Here at The Tie Garden, every single order comes beautifully gift-wrapped as standard, complete with an elegant gift tag. Because the ties and pocket squares are premium quality, they are beautiful mementos that will last a lifetime.
Try a "Groomsman Proposal"
We have had so many clever couples use this strategy to simplify their planning early on. They order the gift-wrapped ties and pocket squares nice and early, write "Hi Johnny, I'd like you to be my groomsman" right on the gift tag, and ship it directly to their doorstep. It turns a logistical checkbox into an instant, memorable surprise.
Scenario B: The Groomsmen Buy (The Stress-Free Link)
If your groomsmen are purchasing their own accessories, you still want to make sure everyone shows up in the correct shade. No one wants five different versions of "sage green" standing at the altar!
To handle this smoothly and accurately, follow this simple process:
Step 1: Order fabric swatches or a single sample tie/bow tie in advance to test against the bridesmaid dresses.
Step 2: Once you’ve locked in the perfect match, simply text your groomsmen a direct link to that exact product on our website.
Step 3: The groomsmen click the link, buy directly from The Tie Garden, and have it shipped straight to their own address.
No guesswork, no mistakes.
Expert Styling Tip: The "Mix and Match" Groom
Should the groom wear the exact same tie as the groomsmen? You can, but you don't have to!
Mixing and matching fabrics is an incredible way to elevate your wedding photos and ensure the groom stands out. The trick is to use the exact same materials, but in opposite ways.
For Example: You could dress the groomsmen in a solid lilac tie paired with a floral pocket square. For the groom, you invert it—he wears the floral pattern as his actual necktie, paired with a solid pocket square. It keeps the whole party completely cohesive, but gives the groom his own well-deserved spotlight.
Timeline & "The Theatre" of the Morning
From a planning perspective, we highly encourage couples or groomsmen to order their accessories at least four to six weeks before the wedding day. Being organised means one less thing to stress about as the date inches closer.
While we pride ourselves on being able to accommodate next-day emergency shipping, we definitely wouldn't recommend leaving it to the last second.
The Nottingham Service Station Incident
To give you an idea of how wild last-minute stress can get: we once had a groom order a bulk set of ties literally the night before his wedding, leaving absolutely no time for standard shipping. Because we are a small, passionate, independent business, we couldn't bear to let him down. My husband, Mike, actually drove out into the night to meet this panicked groom at a Nottingham service station to hand-deliver his order! We saved the day—but please, don't copy this strategy!
Create a Moment for the Photographer
The morning of the wedding is all part of the theatre, and your photographer will be following you around capturing it all. Handing out beautifully gift-wrapped boxes with personalised tags makes the wedding party feel incredibly special.
If you want to add an extra touch to the photos, you can even add matching groomsmen or best man socks into the mix. It builds the excitement, looks sharp in photos, and gives your best friends a high-quality keepsake they will wear for years to come.